I've Decided To Actively Explore The Idea of Running For President

Your Move Jeb (Bush not Kirkpatrick)

2015 NFL Superbowl Theme Song Lyrics

Oh NFL, whoa Ray Rice!

I'm addicted to you.

Oops! I did it again!

I beat my wife, life, knife!

People are made of jelly.

I'm not that stupid! 

I must confess,

I still believe (still believe),

That men are stupid!

Hit me baby one more time!

Kick some ass,

I am, confused

If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?

In the paper, the news everyday I am

You better grow a pair

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to kick some ass

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

You own it, you better never let the throat go

Follow the yellow brick road

Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my fist striking elevator buttons

I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain

Just grow a pair

Man up

CNN: Wolf Blitzer Is A Pornstar!

Exclusive News! 

Hipster Taint can officially reveal that, Blitzer is a soft-core pornstar. 

Wolf Blitzer has been seen by millions of rump spanking aficionados in more than 800 porn movies. He lives off of his 

CNN Situation Room 

money, but he’s squirreled away all of his porn money for retirement!

Wolf revealed exclusively to HipsterTaint, "Ok, I didn’t want anyone to find out I get spanked and tickled for money, but now that it’s out I won’t deny it. I am a pornstar! I’m often befuddled on air (CNN), but I’m in my element in the boudoir with my 

undies around my ankles and a tickle feather 

where the sun don’t shine!!! I’m great in bed & the money’s...”

www.HipsterTaint.blogspot.com is trilled to get this exclusive interview with Wolf Blitzer, we scooped everyone… 

TMZ, US Weekly, OK Insider (no pun intended), and The Wall Street Journal!

Senator Ted Cruz Wears Dirty Underwear!

Breaking News! 

The HipsterTaint blog can reveal that, Senator Ted Cruz wears dirty underwear. 

This is because, Ted’s underwear were seen by one of my reporters. 

Voters beware!

Ted revealed exclusively to HipsterTaint, "So what if wear dirty underwear, their mine & it’s my life."

It seems to me Ted Cruz doesn’t want to spend any money on new underwear, 

so we are urging voters to sign the petition urging Ted to wash his dirty underwear. After reading this we urge underwear manufacturers to come forward and donate some pairs!

The Worst Song Lyrics Ever

 

We were both blogging when I first saw you.
You grew a pair, then the flashback started:
My hotel is where I'm standing in the autumn air.

What are you doing with that new lover?
Who wears tight dungarees,
When I wear a grubby nose ring,
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for are

my meaty lips.

So this is me bouncing,
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm thirsty!"
And I think back to autumn all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but snuggling daringly,
Wishing I'd realised I murdered your goldfish.
I'd go back to autumn, turn around and do some ass kicking.
I go back to autumn quite often.

Baby, let's do some prancing,
This love is smooth but it's wet.
It's a love story, baby,
Just be my

poor elephant.

We are never ever ever going to try acting absentmindedly together,
We are never ever ever going to try acting shit-faced together,
You go talk to your daughter, talk to my pimp, talk to me,
But we are never ever ever ever going to try acting befuddled together,
Just smooching fondly forever.

I'm thirsty baby, I'm thirsty.